How to Get Everything That You Want

Did you know that by just talking to yourself differently and repeating a few words daily, you can change your mind – and your life?

Yes, you can!

By using positive affirmations you can re-train your brain and change your life!

Repeating positive statements over and over can produce new neural pathways in our brains – new habitual thoughts.

And, that is VERY good news!

What are thinking right now?

Catch the thought – what is it?

Well, let me ask you, are you feeling good or bad?

If you are feeling good then you are thinking good thoughts.

If you are stressed, irritated or just feeling “not so hot” you need a frontal lobotomy!

Or, we could just try some affirmations.

Affirmations have changed my life – so I “do” affirmations daily.

Would you like to feel better every day AND have better results?

Then try positive affirmations.

Positive affirmations are up-lifting and lead you to creating new beliefs that will make you feel strong and serve you in every area of your life.

Positive affirmations will get you where you need to be!

"Feel Better in 30 Seconds!"

“Winning Strategy for Positive Affirmations”

Steps to Creating Positive Affirmations that create change!

1. Set goals – and make them into affirmations

Goal: Affirmation

I enjoy my work I am appreciated by all – working here is a ball!

I lose weight. I weigh 178 and I feel great!

I have a great marriage. I am crazy in love. My (spouse name) is a gift from above!

2. Repeat the affirmations daily – the more often the better.

3. Say them with ENERGY!

4. Write them on cards and post them around the house.

5. ACTION: write one affirmation right NOW ___________________________

What can you expect?

The result: people feel

• more productive
• better results
• more calm and focused
• work life balance is improved

Give it a try and let me know how you feel!

Stay Calm

In Jim Collins book, “Good to Great” says the “fox knows many things but the Hedgehog knows one thing: eliminate unnecessary suffering.”

Today I am going to help you eliminate unnecessary suffering so that you can have all the success, abundance and peace that you deserve.

Suffering is fighting against what is and what you want to be. Eckhart Tolle says that by being in the present moment can help eliminate suffering.

But the good news is that you are

Exactly where you need to be on your path right now! All the suffering and challenges you have prepared you for the journey you are on now, for the joy that you can experience right now, in this moment and in many moments to come.

Stay Calm

No matter what the other person does, come from a place of peace.

Story

This, I am finding, is especially important if you have teenagers.

The more excited, irritated and high strung they get, the calmer you need to be.

This past summer my daughter went away to camp. At 13 that means shopping for new clothes, the right sneakers and even socks. She saved her money, bought what she needed – an investment, and away she went. She was very excited to go and had a wonderful time. That is, until she returned from camp, hormones and all. She wasn’t in the house 5 minutes before the front door flew open. As I came up the walk I saw clothes flying.

“They’re RUINED!” she shouted.

I was in a calm place – took the clothes and told her that they would be OK.

Thought, “How would the best Mom possible handle this?”

Texted her that the swimsuit was 100% OK and the shorts were getting there. She texted back, “OK.”

When you come from a place of stress you have 2% of your problem solving capacity available to you.

2%!

So, how do we achieve a place of calm?

1. DECIDE that you are Calm

Say, “I choose to be calm, to be in the moment.”

2. Walk Away

Take a time out – like I did this morning when my hormonal daughter was out of control.

3. Close Your Eyes/Meditate

I will meditate when I am at a stop light, getting my hair cut, nails done, etc.

I explain what I am doing and shut my eyes.

4. Be in the Moment

ALL your joy is in the moment – all your opportunity.

Pay attention to what you are doing in the moment.

Mindfulness reduces stress, overeating, anxiety, depression, improves

Health, increases joy and peace of mind.

5. Go Outside

Nature has a way of calming and enlivening us. Take a break when you can.

Benefits: reduced stress, increased peace.

6. The best question for a calm mind – “Is that true?” (Back to Reality)

Example: “My daughter is an out of control teenager!”

Ask, “Is it true?”

Answer, “No”

How do you FEEL when you believe that thought?

DROP the thought that doesn’t serve you.

7. Your mind is like a garden – plant CALM thoughts
   • Alter your thoughts and you will alter your circumstances

• You want calm, your body wants calm, your spirit, the authentic you functions best on calm.

• You influence those around you with your being – which comes from your thoughts.

• Calm, productive thoughts = calm mind = great results

• Your mind will grow weeds unless you plant thoughts that are positive and serve you well.

8. To Maintain Your Focus, Your Calm, Ask Questions:
   • What do I want?

• What am I creating?

• What is my intention?

• What can I do to make this easier, more loving on myself?

9. Breathe

Years ago, I learned the "Four Square" method of breathing to reduce anxiety:

1. Breathe in slowly to a count of four.
2. Hold the breath for a count of four.
3. Exhale slowly through pursed lips to a count of four.
4. Rest for a count of four (without taking any breaths).
5. Take two normal breaths.
6

Question your thoughts to allow change.

In my courses I teach about meditation which allows us to be more calm, focused and present.

Ask yourself when you have a thought that is giving you pain, “is that true?”

Repeat over and over again, “I am calm”

When you are stressed you are fighting – there is a struggle between where you want to be and where you are.

Notice the thought and decide where you want to be.

Choose your emotion – how you want to be.

If you want to be happy, you must think happy thoughts.

What's the Possibility?

YOU are amazing and have all the potential you need to achieve ANYTHING that you set your heart on today!

And, you are exactly where you need to be on your path.

So, you may say, “Why am I in a place where I don’t want to be?”

It may be that you are resisting it, not focusing on the gifts that you already possess. Or, you could simply be too tired, too worn, too overwhelmed.

Either way, it’s your thoughts – your brain that is giving you the problems, the challenges. It is not the situation. It never is.

What is troubling, challenging or sad right now is here to teach you a lesson – to help you reach your wildest dreams.

And, if you resist whatever that is – it will persist. It will “hang around.”

What you resist persists.

“You’re never thrown into a situation or given an experience accidentally.”

Mike Dooley

Why? Because you keep thinking about it – you keep it in the forefront.

Is your mind on a relationship that doesn’t work? On your weight that isn’t where you want it to be? Accept it. But allow other options.

Allow the idea that it can be another way if you welcome the possibility. Just be open to the idea that it could be – that it may be possible.

That will open your mind up to letting the new idea germinate – you will let in hope that previously hadn’t been there before.

And sometimes hope is all you need.

"Feel Better in 30 Seconds!"

“Winning Strategy for Possibility Thinking”

Steps to Think of the Possibilities!

1. Focus on what you want – and make it bigger than what you may think is possible. This “possibility thinking” challenges your subconscious and conscious mind to stretch – to create what could be – with solutions.

2. Know that you don’t have to have the answer – but you need the question.

Perhaps the question is:

What is possible for me?

What do I need to do NOW?

What one step would change this from WORRY to WONDERFUL?

“Wonderful = I feel better because I have taken action.”

3. Notice what comes up – your work, relationship, a project that needs preparation, an upcoming speech (OOPS – that’s me!)

4. ACT on the idea. Just one little tiny baby step – to get you where you want to be.

Action will override the inertia – it will help change the situation into a RESULT in an area of your life that needs attention.

5. WRITE down your commitment: Today I will ___________________________

How To Re-Energize Your Life Part 2

Take 2 minutes with me to feel better NOW!

YOU are remarkable!

You are unique and can achieve any goal that you set your mind to.

Definiteness of purpose is the key.

KNOW what you want!

Be clear on why you are here.

Brian Tracy in his fabulous book, “Goals How to Get Everything You

Want Faster Than you Ever Thought Possible,” asks the question,

“What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew that you could not fail?

Take 30 seconds to be ENERGIZED about your life!

1. Ask “What one great thing would I dare to dream if I knew that I could not fail?”

Answer the question in first person, positive, present tense.

Write down as many thoughts as come to your mind.

“I weigh 135 pounds”

“I earn $100,000 per year.”

“I have a new home worth $300,000.”

Write until you run out of ideas.

2. Take your top goal and write as many ideas as you can to achieve it.

Examples: (For weight loss)

“I eat only when I am hungry”

“I stop when I am satisfied”

“I eat foods I love”

(For business success)

“I have a clear written business plan”

“I re-write my goals each day.”

“I complete 3 high value activities each day”

3. Take action immediately on ONE of those ideas.

DECIDE!

Do one thing differently today – one baby step towards your dream!

Again,

Ask “What one great thing would I dare to dream if I knew that I could not fail?”

DO IT NOW!!!

Are you in the top 5% with written goals and action orientation?

Do you want to be happier, healthier?

READY to change your life FOREVER?

I have a wonderful LIMITED OFFER TO LOSE WEIGHT FOREVER!

AND, BONUS ONE-ON-ONE COACHING!

- lose weight

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Click on this link to find out more!

Please let me know how this is working for you: paula@ClaimYourBestLife.com

Losing Weight By Having Fun (Part 4)

My month-long birthday blog! Focus: having fun like a 5 year old!

You must see this video! If you “do” your affirmations with this energy it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg

Make sure that you see part #1 and part #2 – SO FUN!

Don’t forget: use affirmations – positive, personal, and present-tense statements to help you “look” for the fun.

Affirmations keep you focused on what you WANT.

“I love TODAY – how will I have FUN today” (5 year old you)

AFFIRMATIONS #4 – YOUR GATEWAY TO FUN!

One of my newest clients is constantly “talking” to herself with affirmations and “catching” the thoughts that don’t serve her.

She notices her negative thoughts that make her feel bad and CHANGES them to ones that feel good.

Example: Ginger the cat just jumped up on my chair – a distraction.

First thought about Ginger – “I need to focus on getting this written – go away Ginger.”

Next thought – “I CAN have FUN – and Ginger the cat can be my joy, and calming influence.”

Next thought: “This is a great way to get my work done!”

STOP and re-focus on what could be.

NOTICE: how you “treat” others is what you are doing/saying to yourself!

When I am intolerant of Ginger or others, I am impatient with myself.

SHOW EVERYONE LOVE! And you will be better able to love yourself!

Powerful Affirmations:

“I like myself.”

“I love myself.”

“I approve of myself.”

“I eat when I am truly hungry.”

“I deserve the best.”

“I am an excellent at my job!”

Want to add POWER to these – to get them into your subconscious where they will do the most good?

Add ENERGY like Jessica does in the video and HAVE FUN!

HINT: you must say it with enthusiasm to get it into the subconscious!

Please let me know how this is working for you: paula@ClaimYourBestLife.com

And if you love this stuff, please forward this on to 3 friends who are incredible women like you!

Today’s point: you can CREATE FUN every day!

To FEEL better – repeat the affirmations and decide to live in JOY!

Hint: Using affirmations ALL day will make you feel WONDERFUL! - - - Put your top 3 affirmations on index cards

• repeat them 2-3 times a day with ENERGY!
• Let me know how wonderful you feel!

WINNING STRATEGIES – “Eat Fun Foods You Love!”

Summer is almost over in the South (finally! I need a little break from the heat) but zucchini is still abundant. I like to make these, freeze them and warm them in the microwave (30 seconds at “5” power) for breakfast. Make sure that you add some protein to your breakfast – eggs, egg whites, high protein cereal with skim or soy milk – so that you will have sustained energy!

Enjoy!

Zucchini Bread

(makes 2 loaves)

3 eggs

2 tsp. baking soda

½ cup veg. oil

½ cup applesauce

¼ tsp. baking powder

½ cup

1 Tbsp. cinnamon

1 Tbsp. vanilla

½ tsp. salt

1 tsp Stevia powder or 1¾ cup Agave syrup or 1 ¾ cup Splenda

Stevia powder is a natural product and a great sugar substitute. I find it on-line or at “health food” stores. (Shouldn’t ALL stores be health food stores?)

2 cups coarsely grated, packed zucchini

¼ cup ground flax seed (optional)

1 cup whole wheat flour

1 cup white flour

1 c. chopped walnuts

Mix all of the above by hand in a large bowl. Pour into bread pans that have been sprayed with Pam and floured, OR into mini-muffin pans.

Bake the loaves at 350 degrees for 1 hour.

Bake the mini-muffins for 12-15 minutes. Since ovens are different, check the mini muffins often.

Enjoy!

Relaxation Response Technique

How to Do It

1. Sit in a comfortable position with your eyes closed. Try to relax your muscles.

2. Notice your breathing, and repeat a word or prayer silently to yourself as you exhale.

3. When your mind wanders (as it will) just notice it and bring your mind back to your breathing.

4. Do this for 5 -20 minutes a day (or even start with 1-2 minutes). The more you do it the more benefits you will notice. You may find it helpful to set a quiet alarm or chime so that you can focus on the meditation the entire time and come out of it peacefully.

The relaxation response embodies a form of meditation which has been practiced for centuries. This technique can be found in every major religious tradition. It is a simple technique, but one that you may initially resist; it seems a “waste of time” since you will find your mind wandering and you may grow impatient.

Hang in there! As you incorporate it into your life you may find the following benefits:

• increased calm and focus
• you will be able to relax more easily when you feel stressed (hint: go back to the breath)
• you may “hear” the answers to your most challenging questions (God often speaks to us through “intuition” or thoughts that we have during prayer and meditation).

And, for those of us who believe that we have to be “doing,” this non-doing will bring so much calm, peace and answers to you that you will wonder how you managed without it all these years!

Fast California Salad Recipe

I had a salad very similar to this at a restaurant with a friend recently who proclaimed it her “new favorite!” I love the combination of sweet and salty. I honestly threw this together (for just me – great way to take care of #1!) in 10 minutes or less. The key is (obviously) to have all the ingredients on hand. Enjoy!

Romaine or field greens

Large frozen cooked shrimp (5-6 per person)

Mandarin oranges (canned)

Fresh strawberries (3-4 per person)

Blue cheese crumbles

Sugared pecans, chopped

Balsamic vinaigrette

Thaw shrimp as per package directions.

Sprinkle thawed shrimp with seafood seasoning (Old Bay or other)

Spray frying pan with olive oil (Pam or similar) and sauté shrimp until warm.

Place washed greens in bowl.

Slice strawberries and add to greens with drained mandarin oranges, blue cheese and chopped pecans. Add shrimp. Drizzle with balsamic (or your favorite) vinaigrette and you are good to go!

Enjoy!

How to Lose Weight by Having FUN! Part 3

I got so much feedback from my birthday blog that I decided to continue the celebration ALL month long! Pretend TODAY is YOUR Birthday – how would you celebrate if you were 5 years old?

You agreed - at 5 years old you look forward to FUN!

I use affirmations – positive, personal, and present-tense statements to help me “look” for the fun.

Affirmations keep you focused on what you WANT.

“I love TODAY – how will I PLAY?” (5 year old you)

AFFIRMATIONS – YOUR GATEWAY TO JOY!

Quick reminder: affirmations are:

• Positive statements
• Personal
• Present Tense
• Believable (with a stretch!)

“I believe something wonderful is happening to me today!”

“I like myself” (one of THE most powerful affirmations – from the incredible Brian Tracy – repeat this 10 times and keep reading!)

Yesterday I was listening to one of Brian Tracy’s audio programs and realized that focusing on getting things done – with joy – affects every area of my life!

I got SO much done (important stuff) and felt great!

P.S. When you FEEL good you are less likely to overeat.

My goal: help you to recognize your good (and not so good) feelings and LIVE in the moment – that’s where all the JOY is!

Here are some of the affirmations that help me:

“I am incredible at time management “

“I am getting all the tough stuff done so I can have FUN!”

Sound a little “corny” or cute?

Your brain LOVES corny and cute – it “re-programs” more easily that way!

To change your brain for FUN:

Repeat POSITIVE affirmations again and again

With:

• Faith (know it will happen)
• Acceptance (of the now)
• Belief (that you are changing your reality)

Other statements:

“I am always on time for my appointments”

“I use my time well”

“I am well organized”

This will start to impact your behaviors – immediately!

Repeat them 3-5 times with EMOTION (excitement - happy)!

Here’s this week’s list – put them somewhere you can see them – repeat them daily and see the changes take place!

“I like myself”

“I believe something wonderful is happening to me today!”

“I am an AWESOME woman!”

“I am exactly where I am supposed to be on my life’s path!”

“I use my time well”

“I am always on time for my appointments”

“I deserve the best!”

“I am well organized”

“I am incredible at time management “

“I am getting all the tough stuff done so I can have FUN!”

HINT: you must say it with enthusiasm to get it into the subconscious!

Please let me know how this is working for you: paula@ClaimYourBestLife.com

And if you love this stuff, please forward this on to 3 friends who are incredible women like you!

Today’s point: you deserve FUN every day!

To FEEL better – repeat the affirmations and decide to live in JOY!

Hint: Getting more done will make you feel WONDERFUL! Make a list of the top 3 things you need to get done TODAY and start on them NOW! And ask, “How can I make this more FUN?” (Start NOW!)

WINNING STRATEGIES – “Eat Fun Foods You Love!”

I told you that I am not much of a cook, but this is such a crunchy salad that I love to have it around! It goes quickly at pot lucks and you don’t need a lot of the dressing.

Crunchy Cole Slaw

Salad

½ cup slivered or sliced almonds

½ cup sesame seeds (or you can use all almonds, as I do)

2 pkg. ramen noodles (break-up the noodles in a plastic bag)

(- don’t use the seasoning )

16 oz. Three Color Cabbage chopped (not Angel Hair)

1-2 Tbsp. butter or butter flavored Pam spray

Dressing

½ cup sugar (I use Splenda or Stevia)

½ cup Canola oil

¼ cup Apple Cider Vinegar

2 Tbsp. soy sauce

Brown first 3 ingredients in butter (must stir constantly or it will burn)

Cool

Combine dressing and whisk until sugar dissolves

(Note: don’t dump all the dressing on the salad – this leaves you LOTS extra!)

Toss just before serving!

(I make the ramen noodles & almonds then freeze – if you have this and the dressing made ahead of time you can have a last minute salad just by buying a bag of cabbage)

Enjoy!

Tip: – You CAN eat foods you love and still lose weight! This is a great, healthy salad especially if you limit the oil.

WHAT’S PAULA UP TO (Do You REALLY Want to Know?)

I am hosting another “Losing Weight Gaining You” free informational call in a couple weeks. What is the difference with my program? The weight comes off forever because the focus is on connecting with and loving YOU. Look for details or find out more here: www.claimyourbestlife.com

Lose Weight & Have Fun (Part 2)

I got so much feedback from last week that I decided to continue the celebration ALL month long! Pretend TODAY is YOUR Birthday – how would you celebrate if you were 5 years old?

At 5 years old you look forward to every day and look for the FUN!

I use affirmations – positive, personal, and present-tense statements to help me “look” for the fun.

Affirmations keep you focused on what you WANT.

“My life is PLAY – everything I do creates joy today!” (5 year old you)

AFFIRMATIONS TO DESIGN A GREAT LIFE!

Do you want to feel better?

Affirmations are a great way to start.

Each week I will give you one (or 2 or 3) affirmations for JOY and achieving an exceptional life.

Affirmations turn on the powerful you and put the “critic” (that lousy voice in your head) to sleep.

To change only takes 7-21 days of positive thoughts.

You can do this!

“I feel great today!” will get you started!

When we are living in the moment – in joy – (enjoy) – we are more connected to ourselves and less likely to overeat, berate ourselves or otherwise create chaos in our lives!

Can you spare 30 seconds?

Today SAY at least 3 affirmations 3-5 times each – with energy & excitement!

Affirmations are:

• First person “I”
• Positive
• Personal
• Believable (with a bit of a stretch!)

Here is a list of affirmations to get you started!

These 2 from Brian Tracy will change your life!

I like myself!

I believe something WONDERFUL is happening to me today!

I deserve the best!

I am receiving the best today!

Every day in every way I get better and better!

I am giving love to everyone I see and they give love to me!

Today’s point: you deserve love, joy and FUN every day! Decide to live in JOY!

Hint: decide that you are going to approach today with the same gusto as you would if you were 5 years old! Life can be PLAY! Be goofy, laugh a lot and have FUN no matter what – they go out and approach everything you do with the question, “how can I make this more FUN?”

How to Eat Chocolate and Still Lose Weight! (Chocolate Chip Muffins with Whole Grains)

Paula’s Choc Chip Whole Grain Muffins!

Pre-heat oven to 425 degrees

1. Mix in large bowl:

2 cups whole wheat pastry flour (or whole wheat flour)

6 cups old fashioned oatmeal

2 scoops “Super Seed” ground flax (optional)

1 ¾ Tbsp. baking powder

¼ Tbsp. baking soda

1 ½ Tbsp. cream of tarter

2. Mix in large bowl:

1/ ¼ tsp. Stevia powder (or 2 cups sugar, Agave Nectar or Splenda)

½ cup brown sugar

¾ cup canola oil

1 ½ cups applesauce

2 cups skim milk)

1 cup Egg Beaters

Zest of 1-2 oranges (optional – but adds a great taste!)

3. Mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients

Add:

1 ½ cups chopped walnuts

¾ cup dried cranberries, chopped

Optional:

¾ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, chopped (I use Ghirardelli or other high quality chocolate!)

Bake in mini-muffin pans that have been sprayed with “Pam” spray or similar for 15 minutes (conventional) or 12 minutes (convection) or until lightly brown.

Tip: freeze these and microwave at 50% power for 30 seconds. Great with coffee or tea! (Make sure you get protein in the am as well!)

Enjoy!

Tip: – You CAN eat foods you love and still lose weight!

These muffins are sweet enough to satisfy my “sweet tooth” but I always balance them with coffee with lots of skim or soy milk (protein) and then eat something “protein rich” for my next mini meal or I find that I get tired – not good when you are having FUN!

How to Lose Weight by Having FUN!

Happy Birthday to me! Today is my birthday – a day to celebrate!

OK, I admit it – I can be very hard on myself. But not today!

Today is my 50+ birthday – and it’s time to have fun!

They say that you teach what you need to learn.

I teach self-love, connection and acceptance of what is as the doorway to re-training your brain and getting everything you want in life.

So, starting today I am giving myself permission (why don’t you give yourself permission too?) to just ENJOY every moment!

That’s my birthday gift to me.

DELIGHT IN YOURSELF

Today is the day to stop “picking on yourself,” to recognize what gives you JOY and make a list of those things – then do at least one!

When we are living in the moment – in joy – (enjoy) – we are more connected to ourselves and less likely to overeat, berate ourselves or otherwise create chaos in our lives!

Today I will do at least 5 things on my list – what will you do?

Create your list NOW!

Here’s my JOY list: (OK partial list – it’s endless today!)

• bake muffins (see below)
• ride my bicycle
• call a friend
• have lunch with a wonderful friend
• call one of my sisters (I have 4!)
• call one of my brothers (I have 3!)
• get a pedicure
• walk in nature
• meditate in nature
• take a walk with a friend
• take a walk with my daughter (she’s 13 – good luck on that one!)
• take a bike ride with my daughter (better idea!)
• call a friend who lives far away who I haven’t talked to in a long time
• bake more muffins
• blast one of my favorite songs
• dance to my favorite songs
• dance with my husband, daughter friend
• sing at the top of my lungs
• chat with a friend who makes me laugh
• go to the beach
• swim in the ocean
• walk on the beach
• plan to go to the beach with my LWGY group
• plan to visit a friend – far away
• play with a child, the younger the better
• be silly – as silly as possible!
• take a kid to the park and see how many memories you can create!
• Cook something yummy just for YOU

Today’s point: you deserve love, joy and FUN every day! Decide to live in JOY!

Hint: decide that you are going to approach today with the same gusto as you would a vacation day. Have FUN no matter what – they go out and approach everything you do with the question, “how can I make this more FUN?”

Wake Up to a Better Day!

Did you wake up feeling badly today? OK, you are forgiven. I did too.

Ready for some strategies?

Here’s some ideas that DON'T work well

1. Stay in bed thinking that you have the worst life ever and it’s all because of that turtle you had/dog that bit you/time your hair turned green. This way of thinking is blame – doesn’t work – let’s try again.
2. Get up and be grouchy – wait for something to change – again, not a great strategy. Ask “The Grouch” from Sesame Street. Everyone wants to be with Big Bird or Miss Piggy – they are just more fun.

Some steps to feel better right away:

1. Say, “This is the best day ever!” and get moving. Your mind and body (but especially your mind) need instruction. To their question, “Which way do we go?” You can give the command, “To the gutter lads – the day is going downhill rapidly!” OR “This is the best day ever!” and like young children, your mind will start to look for the evidence of the “best day!”
2. Play some music that you LOVE – right away. If you are like me, an early riser, then do this on your IPod as others will not be amused when they hear “Love Shack” blasting at 6am.
3. Get dancing. Yes, I know that it sounds silly. Silly works – and it feels good. ALLOW yourself to be silly! If not now, when? Do you need permission to be happy?

And finally, be in the moment – right now! Give yourself permission to look outside, go outside, be outside in nature and enjoy beauty.

You can do this – you deserve the best!

Love yourself.

“How To Change Your Thoughts So You Can Eat Chocolate and STILL Lose Weight”

Here’s your problem: lousy thoughts = no weight loss!

Lousy thoughts lead to lousy feelings lead to lousy decisions.

What is your thought at this moment?

“I don’t know” is a lie.

Try again: what is your thought?

“I am a powerful woman” – great thought

“I know I am on the right track” – good thought

“I will never lose weight because…” – lousy thought – and your excuses are just that – excuses and LIES!

You are a wonderful woman.

You deserve the best.

What you have been “feeding” yourself are LIES and won’t make you lose the weight OR feel better!

How do you want to feel?

The most important point of Losing Weight Gaining You is this:

LOVE YOURSELF

Self love is the place where you're “talking to yourself” with kindness and compassion.

Kindness and compassion leads to healing.

Berating yourself leads to feeling lousy.

Today’s point: love yourself and be kind to yourself!

Remember: You are exactly where you are supposed to be on your path!

Self-talk is the key here.

Say, “I love and accept myself exactly the way I am”

You must constantly reinforce yourself with positive self-talk.

Think great thoughts NO MATTER WHAT YOU EAT, DO OR SAY!

Be kind to YOU!

Hint: talk to yourself with the same love that you would to a friend who is “down and out” or your sweet cat.

Breaking Out of the Blues!

How I Got Back to Sanity (You Can Too!)

Last week was “one of those weeks!”

I was my own worst enemy – I was thinking tons of garbage thoughts. I wasn’t supporting myself.

I ended up face-to-face with chocolate cake (ate too much!)

Then I thought, “How can I tell women that I have the answer to overeating if I am overeating – emotionally eating?”

The answer: I am not perfect! (Yes, I do wish I were sometimes – but I am told that it would be boring).

I was SO frustrated with my business. “Surely if I do X then Y should happen,” I thought. Well, if you have been in business long enough you know that “things always take longer than you think.”

So I overate.
Yes, I got out of it. But being in it is awful. And, you feel like you will NEVER get out of it. You believe that you must diet.

But, diets don’t work! You need a permanent solution.

Here is what saved me and can save you too:

-I am aware that I am upset. And, I tell myself it is OK – I will figure it out (in between bites or when I choose to stop).So, even when I am overeating I am VERY aware that I am choosing to avoid a feeling.

-I know that it is just a feeling – and I don’t have to eat my feelings. I can just feel them.

-I have decided NOT to beat myself up when I overeat.

-I ask, “What do I want? What do I want that food can never give me?” and I take a deep breath.

-I journal. When I do, the insights are amazing!

-If I don’t journal, I get away from the food and ask the question again. “What do I want?”

-I TRUST myself not to go past a “+3” or “+4”. I know that I won’t go crazy and gain weight. (I teach you how in the program).

-I know that it’s not the end of the world – I can escape the situation by asking the question, giving myself time and COMPASSION.

Can you stop?
Do you KNOW when you are “satisfied”?
Can you eat your favorite foods without worrying that you will overeat?

If not, join me for my next FREE teleseminar where I will share with you:

-Why diets don’t work (studies show that you actually GAIN more weight than you lose on diets)
-4 steps you can take TODAY to lose weight quickly!
-How LWGY is unique and why it works!

Give Me a Rule...& I'll Rebel!

I recently took a “test” that told me “You don’t like rules – you rebel.”

Why wasn’t that a surprise to me? It may have been remembering the time when I ate 9 donuts because they were free – or 12+ munchkins, or….

When we are told what to eat, when to eat and how much, we rebel. We are no longer listening to our own bodies, we disconnect. When this happens repeatedly (dieting) we decide that we can NEVER achieve an “ideal” weight. How sad!

You can lose the weight – forever – but you must first decide that it is possible!

Take Amy’s story: she battled the same 10+ pounds for years, has sisters that have “real” weight issues, but was surprised at to learn during “Losing Weight Gaining You” that what held her back were her beliefs – about herself, her weight and her life.

“I GOT IT! Paula, I understood after only 6 sessions that it’s not about the food, and I started connecting with myself, loving myself and being kinder to myself. The weight has stayed off and I am MUCH happier in all areas of my life! This is transformational! Thanks so much!”
-Amy S., Rock Hill, SC

So, how do you start?

You must first decide!

A decision means that there is no going back – it’s an absolute. It’s not a matter of, “Well, that didn’t work too well, so I will give up,” it’s a commitment to yourself. You say, “I can do this – no matter what.” And, it means that you expect that there will be times when you are not perfect - which is perfect!

You are in the middle of a learning process (it’s called your life) and you will repeatedly go down the “wrong” path in order to learn something that you must know to continue on your life’s (spiritual) journey.

I believe that we are all at the “perfect” place – we are all exactly where we should be on our path right now. I find this very comforting – as I am constantly questioning what I am doing, if it is the right thing, etc. in my business.

Next, forgive yourself!

After you decide you must forgive – and learn to love yourself as well as you can. At every moment of your life you are doing the best you can with the knowledge and resources that you have. “You are doing the best you can with what you have.” AND now that you have different information, you can make different decisions!

Today, I want you to focus on YOU in 3 ways (this will start you on your weight loss journey)

Stop criticizing yourself.

This can only lead to pain – notice how it makes you feel and STOP!
Say – “I like myself” “I am doing my best” “This is going to be a great day!”

These positive statements (affirmations) can be tremendously powerful and will “lift you up!” Say each a minimum of 20 times a day. (Go ahead, it won’t hurt! But the garbage you have been telling yourself will hurt. Please, just try it!)
Connect with other like minded people – “surround yourself with positive”

I’ve heard, “You can’t soar with the eagles when you hang with the turkeys!” Each person carries with themselves energy. Get with the great energy!

Check the blog next week for your next step. Or, if you want more immediate help see my web site: http://www.claimyourbestlife.com/ where you will find links to resources, teleseminars and products.

Love yourself!

I love you.

-Paula

STOP Crazy Voice in Head = STOP Torture = STOP Overeating!

Remember that man who stole my brownie?

My husband is retired and I LOVE him to pieces, but every time I turned around today he was like a kid interrupting me – “Paula, where is this, how do I do that?”

God bless him, I could kill him! (I didn’t thank you!)
The OLD “me” would have eaten something.
What was going on with me – why was I so impatient?

I was impatient with MYSELF – and food wouldn’t work.
I was upset that I hadn’t accomplished more.
I was “taking it out” on him – and me. And since I spend HOURS each day researching this stuff, I figured it out – and spared my hips some padding.

As soon as you STOP and reflect you may discover your answers.
Whatever your reaction to a situation – whether it’s overeating or fuming YOU set it up!
You set it up and YOU need to get in touch with your feelings – to get peace!

If you are overeating, you are “eating” your emotions. You are “stuffing” your feelings, eating out of frustration, fear, stress, anxiety – call it what you will.

If you are overeating you are an emotional eater. Period!
And, you are in pain – no matter what belief you are holding about being overweight, it is NOT the core reason for the weight, your thoughts are!

“My metabolism is slow,” (it probably is – and won’t get better until you stop dieting);
“I am getting older” (we all are – you must re-program your brain – the weight will disappear).

3 steps to getting in touch with your feelings:

STOP!
Ask, “What is going on here?”
Notice that your brain (crazy mind) may give you some lies such as, “He is a ________ (choose your own label) and he/she is trying to disrupt my world.”

REFLECT – WRITE
Your brain’s job is to keep “running.” Unless you interrupt it with a good question, it will keep going – and drive you CRAZY! Ask, “What is going on here?” and write in your journal (or paper or PC – whatever – just WRITE!)

KNOW that it is about YOU – not “them” (the perceived enemy who is ruining your life).

RESUME
Ask, “Am I now at peace? Do I know what was going on? How can I be kinder to myself?”

HINT: it is all about loving yourself.
Love yourself.
I love you!

Stop Struggling!!!

I couldn’t find peace the other day. I was unsettled – couldn’t really put my finger on it - I was so annoyed – “things weren’t going my way!”

Then I realized:
my thoughts were garbage (“this isn’t working, I don’t like that…”)

I wouldn’t give up on my negativity – I was stuck on being stuck!

What you resist persists.

That is, what you push against will push against you.

If you are not at ease right now you are resisting something, not accepting it.

What are you not accepting?
Another person, Your job, Your situation, The weather, Your weight?

Much of what I was fighting was based upon faulty belief systems.
Here are some faulty beliefs that I uncovered with my clients:

-I can never reach my ideal weight because:
- “My family is heavy”
- “I just love food” (a VERY common one -)
- “I wouldn’t be able to eat my favorite foods.”
- “I would need to exercise all day.”
- ____ (add your faulty belief)

There is a better way out of the struggle – that works in EVERY area of your life!

3 STEPS TO PEACE:

Step 1: Accept
I accept that I am not where I want to be.
I accept that I am unsettled.
I accept, I accept, I accept.
“Accept” - keep at it until you feel peace - ACCEPT!

Step 2: Examine
What is the challenge I am facing?
What is my belief behind that situation or challenge?
Is my belief causing the problem more than the reality of the situation?

Step 3: ACT!
What step(s) can I take right now to address the problem?
One idea: “How can I see this in a different light?”
Does my attitude need to be “adjusted?”
Commit to doing something RIGHT NOW!
Just making the decision will make you feel better.

I Believe Something WONDERFUL is Going to Happen to Me Today!

Ginger (my cat) jumped as I yelled,
“I believe something WONDERFUL is going to happen to me today!”

Poor cat! I was in the kitchen “pumping myself up for my morning!

Do you need to get going FAST in the morning? I recommend the following:

1. Use affirmations
I believe something wonderful is going to happen to me today!

-Brian Tracy
I deserve the best and I accept the best now!

-Louise Hay
I weigh (128, 138, 148, 158, 168 – etc.) and I feel GREAT!

-Paula Guilfoyle
Affirmations are goal oriented and may be a “stretch!” Write them so they are:
personal positive present tense believable (with a stretch)

2. Set the Timer!
I am a person who can research like crazy and take a long time to implement. (It’s not always such a bad thing!)
Set the timer:
10 minutes – get started on an “A” project, step away from food or get a job started at home
5 minutes – to stop and be in the quiet (shut the door or go to the ladies’ room)

Insane Woman Coming Through! (Pre-Teens & Cat Take Cover!)

I am jittery – a bit crazy – and I can’t seem to take my own advice!

My daughter left in tears
The cat brought an “unexpected guest” into the house
I was trying to CONTROL EVERYTHING

When I try to CONTROL EVERYTHING I know that I am feeling out of control!
I know that I am NOT living in the moment.

It all started with the cat, or the pre-teen – whichever!
Ginger peed on Mel’s soccer stuff – cleats, shirt, bag, - you know the drill.
Melia freaked when I told her to bring the (very smelly) bag into the kitchen.

“You are SO selfish Mom – you will only do stuff for YOU!”
“OK, pre-teen hormones,” I thought. (I forgot to think, “Be in the moment.”)

Then Ginger (I do love that cat) walked by with something hanging from his mouth.

“Chippy!” Mel screamed. “He got another Chipmunk! Mom, get it before Ginger kills it!”

I thought I loved that cat.
I tried to take the chipmunk out of his mouth.
Ginger dropped it – chipmunk flew out of site.
I think, “I’ll handle this later – back to the moment.”

Next, I deliver laundry to Mel’s room. I open the door.
“MOM, I am getting dressed in here!”
By now I have allowed my mind to go CRAZY thinking about what I need to get done, and I immediately snap.

“_______(expletive deleted) Melia I am DELIVERING YOUR _____ (delete again) laundry! Give me a break!”

My hormones surge.
Her hormones surge.
Husband wakes up in the next room.
Ginger the cat runs outside to look for another chipmunk.
By now I am almost shaking.
I go to the bedroom and announce, “Intervention needed!”
My husband groans but walks over and hugs me (he is a BRILLIANT man!)

I decide to take a “Mommy time out” knowing I am CRAZZZZY!

How to be in the moment (otherwise known as me talking myself “down”)
Take a deep breath
Breathe again you nutcase! (oops – crazy voice from my mind)
STOP and be in the moment
Try again – this time – really focus
You are resisting – just try to smile
That’s better – smile (endorphins being released)
Now look at your surroundings – focus (not too bad)
Don’t go into your head – look at the sky (beautiful sky – I feel better)
Breathe again
Breathe again

If you can, take 10 minute time out (I feel like I can’t)
Ask, “What is going on?”

I am stressed – too much to do!

What do you need to do first?
Alright, back to the present.
Look at your fingers – breathe.
Better? (better)

Now, take one action that will start the “thing” that is bugging you the most.

But, do it with your FULL ATTENTION – notice that your mind wants to wander.

Focus again – be persistent – look at the screen OR look away – BREATHE!

IN THE MOMENT YOU HAVE NO PROBLEMS!

NOTE: I didn’t say 5 minutes from now or 10 minutes from now. OR the past.

Do you want to create a better life for yourself?
Be in the moment – and keep coming back to the moment.
Breathe.

Love yourself (I love you)

Oprah and the Weight Loss "Revolution!"

I was so happy to see that Oprah had a program on this week about weight!

It is exactly what I have been teaching for over a year – the “miracle” as she puts it – that will change – “shift” the way we think!

When we see the real reasons we are overweight we can allow those reasons to be the real “eye opener.”

I was chatting with a new client – Joan – and she announced that in 3 weeks she had lost 6 pounds! 6 pounds by “being aware of what I am feeling and doing.” I was thrilled for her –because the weight loss is a sign of a deeper transformation, a connection that leads to peace with you and with food.

She said that what has helped her in part has been realizing that she needs to stop “pleasing people.” When we first spoke she told me “I agreed to be the President of a group, knowing that I would hate doing the work, resent the agreement.” I asked why she did it; why would she agree to give up part of her life for something that didn’t bring her joy. “Because they asked me. I believed that I was the only one who could do it.”

Yesterday she said that she not only lost the weight but “I have seen a lot changes – this program has had a ripple effect. It has enabled me to look at the value of what I do and realize that it’s OK to change. I recognize that I don’t have to go down a certain path.” I asked what has helped her the most. “It was having you tell us to ask ourselves, “What do I want? And “How can I take better care of myself?” It has given me so much insight into my life and so much relief because I have stopped doing things that build resentment and stress.”

“Well, I would rather be comforted by food,” you say. Yes, I can understand. But that is temporary comfort. Permanent comfort comes from understanding what is going on in your life, knowing that your feelings are why you are eating, and facing your feelings. This is true freedom – an amazing transformation – that is available to you!

Another new client talked about trying to comfort herself with eating before she started using the tools from the program. She said, “When I was confronted by a major loss last week I knew that I would want to eat – and eat. So, instead of my usual food I binged on air popped popcorn mixed with a little microwave popcorn. The bowl that I used was HUGE (because the emotional hole that she was trying to fill was huge). I knew that I didn’t want to face the loss. So, I stuffed – ate and ate – I didn’t want to deal with it – didn’t want to understand. The small change that I made was the “safer” food. But then I knew that I was still eating out of avoidance – still not connecting. Later I stopped eating and asked, “What is going on here?” And, since you showed me how to connect, I was able to feel the feeling and not run from it. That gave me a peace that the food couldn’t give to me. THAT was huge!”

Are you ready to never diet again?

My call on Tuesday, May 18th at 12 noon EST may be the most important call you listen to.
Are you ready to help yourself – to experience what Oprah calls “the miracle,” and to have someone help you stop the self-hate – to see food as the vehicle, the way to the life that you most want?

If all you can think about is food, if you are constantly beating yourself up around food, trying to use food to comfort yourself and wondering how you can shift the way you think – so that you can be FREE from food – and lose the weight permanently – this FREE call is for you!

Even if you can’t be there for the call, register any way and we will send you the recording of the call – free!

Where Have All The Brownies Gone?

I was so incensed and out of control last night – my husband stole my brownies!

It made me realize once again that deprivation = insanity!

Confession time:

I told you that I don’t believe in deprivation. Well, I also don’t believe in sharing.

In my house I hide brownies. My “source” supplies brownies that are so rich that I cut them into 16 little pieces so that I can savor them whenever I want.

I hide them in the freezer.

Because I am a woman of my word!

I tell my clients:
- eat when “just” hungry – not “starved”
- eat food you LOVE,
(no low fat, sugar free garbage unless you LOVE it!)
- sit and savor food,
- until you are satisfied

I suggest that they have plenty of their favorite foods available to them so they don’t feel deprived.

I am not deprived – until last night!

I came out of my daughter’s room at her bedtime looking for Ginger the Cat.

And - looking forward to my snack.

There he was: my husband casually walking into the living room –

with MY BROWNIE in his grubby hand!
MY BROWNIE!

I went crazy!

The brownie was only ½” square (memorial service scheduled today) but I spotted it from the distance and lept at him.

“I can’t believe that you are eating my brownie!”

“Give it to me! David, really, it’s MY BROWNIE!”

I honestly felt panicked!

My daughter heard the noise and ran to her father’s aid.

“Here, eat the brownie Melia!”

He popped it into her mouth.

I went CRAZY!

“That is MY BROWNIE!” I heard myself yell.

“Great!” I screamed, “She’ll never get to sleep now!” (neither would I)

I was incensed - out of control.

This episode continued for over an hour – in my head anyway.

I brought Melia back to bed (after she danced – no lie – for 15 minutes – on her caffeine and sugar high).

I was never told where the rest of the brownie stash was (still don’t know as of this writing).

But I kept yelling (somewhat – but not entirely in jest) from her bedroom:

“BROWNIE STEALER!”

They both thought that this was hilarious. (I was still frustrated).

What happened?

1. I still don’t know where the d___ brownies are!

2. I was so agitated (true confession) that I ate some other chocolate, took a sleeping pill and went to bed.

3. I am over it (I am heading out as soon as I finish writing this for a new stash – and he won’t find them this time!)

4. I will make sure that he never runs out of Kit Kats again.

5. I didn’t threaten him with “never having marital relations again” (my daughter was in the room after all)

6. Just thinking about this still makes me CRAZY!


DEPRIVATION!

I am not exaggerating when I say that I was:

Panicked
Crazy
Insane
Irrational
“Starved”
Desperate

I could not believe my reaction. (That’s a lie – yes I could!)

So what happened? Aren’t I supposed to be the one in CONTROL?

After all, I am teaching self-love –
(but note: not love for family members who steal)

and losing weight through connection with your beliefs.

WHAT HAPPENED?

I was deprived.

“WHY DIETS DON’T WORK – PART I”

Results of a study of “normal” men – deprived of 50% of their calories:

(Less drastic than many diets)

THEY WENT CRAZY!

Angry
Depressed
Hoarding (sounds like me but give me a break!)
Stealing

BINGEING (big surprise)

The bingeing got worse when the study ended 6 months later.

“They were never the same again.”

(“Good,” one of my clients said “they became just like women.”)

What’s the point?

1. I still have some work to do if I was triggered like that.

Full disclosure:

My WWMM (Wild Wicked Mean Me) brain torments me with:

“How can you teach other women to lose weight when you were triggered?”

I don’t know – but I can. I’ll get back to you on that.



2. As soon as we feel deprived we go BEZERK!
More truth: it was the first time in ages I have felt deprived.
I still have some work to do.

3. You must allow yourself to eat ALL your favorite foods (counter intuitive I know, but I, and my clients do it every day).

4. Diets don’t work (more on this later)

And finally, forgive me for being human (I mean it – but it’s the only way I can be) and still be successful at “living like a normal person” when it comes to food. I can still easily maintain my weight.

Today
Forgive yourself.
Tell your WWMM brain (see above) to shut up.
Eat food you love.

Love yourself (I love you)

Getting Along with Yourself

Yesterday I was getting along VERY well with my 12 year old (not an every day occurrence) – I wondered why.

WHY?

I know why.

I chose to treat myself better (“I love myself”)

I chose to focus on the positive with my daughter

Which reminds me…Raising a “30-50 something” woman isn’t easy.

She needs love.
She needs lots of attention – YOUR attention.
She needs lots of kind, comforting words – YOUR words.

I am doing a better job “raising” me – LOVING ME.
So I can do a better job LOVING EVERYONE.

When I look for the best in me – I find it.
When I look for the best in others – I find it.

Everyone is happy.

Now, what could be simpler?
Do I hear you say, “but you don’t understand what is going on in my life!”
No, I don’t understand. But you do.
You have a choice – choose peace – with yourself.

When I was going through my divorce I didn’t like myself (one of many times) and I had a difficult time being compassionate towards others. I had a difficult time loving myself, accepting the situation, my (then husband’s) actions, the world. Then, during a counseling session our marriage counselor gave us a quote that I suspected was from AA – just by the language – but I never checked it until yesterday.

It is a quote about acceptance – which leads to peace.
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.

When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place,
thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.
AA Big Blue Book page 449 (3rd Edition)

You have a choice to accept what “is” because you can’t change it.
You can only change how you react - what you DO.
It is up to you.

Acceptance = peace.
Resistance = torturing yourself.

“What you resist persists”
What is your choice?
Choose peace. Choose acceptance of the NOW.
Love yourself!