I Believe Something WONDERFUL is Going to Happen to Me Today!

Ginger (my cat) jumped as I yelled,
“I believe something WONDERFUL is going to happen to me today!”

Poor cat! I was in the kitchen “pumping myself up for my morning!

Do you need to get going FAST in the morning? I recommend the following:

1. Use affirmations
I believe something wonderful is going to happen to me today!

-Brian Tracy
I deserve the best and I accept the best now!

-Louise Hay
I weigh (128, 138, 148, 158, 168 – etc.) and I feel GREAT!

-Paula Guilfoyle
Affirmations are goal oriented and may be a “stretch!” Write them so they are:
personal positive present tense believable (with a stretch)

2. Set the Timer!
I am a person who can research like crazy and take a long time to implement. (It’s not always such a bad thing!)
Set the timer:
10 minutes – get started on an “A” project, step away from food or get a job started at home
5 minutes – to stop and be in the quiet (shut the door or go to the ladies’ room)

Insane Woman Coming Through! (Pre-Teens & Cat Take Cover!)

I am jittery – a bit crazy – and I can’t seem to take my own advice!

My daughter left in tears
The cat brought an “unexpected guest” into the house
I was trying to CONTROL EVERYTHING

When I try to CONTROL EVERYTHING I know that I am feeling out of control!
I know that I am NOT living in the moment.

It all started with the cat, or the pre-teen – whichever!
Ginger peed on Mel’s soccer stuff – cleats, shirt, bag, - you know the drill.
Melia freaked when I told her to bring the (very smelly) bag into the kitchen.

“You are SO selfish Mom – you will only do stuff for YOU!”
“OK, pre-teen hormones,” I thought. (I forgot to think, “Be in the moment.”)

Then Ginger (I do love that cat) walked by with something hanging from his mouth.

“Chippy!” Mel screamed. “He got another Chipmunk! Mom, get it before Ginger kills it!”

I thought I loved that cat.
I tried to take the chipmunk out of his mouth.
Ginger dropped it – chipmunk flew out of site.
I think, “I’ll handle this later – back to the moment.”

Next, I deliver laundry to Mel’s room. I open the door.
“MOM, I am getting dressed in here!”
By now I have allowed my mind to go CRAZY thinking about what I need to get done, and I immediately snap.

“_______(expletive deleted) Melia I am DELIVERING YOUR _____ (delete again) laundry! Give me a break!”

My hormones surge.
Her hormones surge.
Husband wakes up in the next room.
Ginger the cat runs outside to look for another chipmunk.
By now I am almost shaking.
I go to the bedroom and announce, “Intervention needed!”
My husband groans but walks over and hugs me (he is a BRILLIANT man!)

I decide to take a “Mommy time out” knowing I am CRAZZZZY!

How to be in the moment (otherwise known as me talking myself “down”)
Take a deep breath
Breathe again you nutcase! (oops – crazy voice from my mind)
STOP and be in the moment
Try again – this time – really focus
You are resisting – just try to smile
That’s better – smile (endorphins being released)
Now look at your surroundings – focus (not too bad)
Don’t go into your head – look at the sky (beautiful sky – I feel better)
Breathe again
Breathe again

If you can, take 10 minute time out (I feel like I can’t)
Ask, “What is going on?”

I am stressed – too much to do!

What do you need to do first?
Alright, back to the present.
Look at your fingers – breathe.
Better? (better)

Now, take one action that will start the “thing” that is bugging you the most.

But, do it with your FULL ATTENTION – notice that your mind wants to wander.

Focus again – be persistent – look at the screen OR look away – BREATHE!

IN THE MOMENT YOU HAVE NO PROBLEMS!

NOTE: I didn’t say 5 minutes from now or 10 minutes from now. OR the past.

Do you want to create a better life for yourself?
Be in the moment – and keep coming back to the moment.
Breathe.

Love yourself (I love you)

Oprah and the Weight Loss "Revolution!"

I was so happy to see that Oprah had a program on this week about weight!

It is exactly what I have been teaching for over a year – the “miracle” as she puts it – that will change – “shift” the way we think!

When we see the real reasons we are overweight we can allow those reasons to be the real “eye opener.”

I was chatting with a new client – Joan – and she announced that in 3 weeks she had lost 6 pounds! 6 pounds by “being aware of what I am feeling and doing.” I was thrilled for her –because the weight loss is a sign of a deeper transformation, a connection that leads to peace with you and with food.

She said that what has helped her in part has been realizing that she needs to stop “pleasing people.” When we first spoke she told me “I agreed to be the President of a group, knowing that I would hate doing the work, resent the agreement.” I asked why she did it; why would she agree to give up part of her life for something that didn’t bring her joy. “Because they asked me. I believed that I was the only one who could do it.”

Yesterday she said that she not only lost the weight but “I have seen a lot changes – this program has had a ripple effect. It has enabled me to look at the value of what I do and realize that it’s OK to change. I recognize that I don’t have to go down a certain path.” I asked what has helped her the most. “It was having you tell us to ask ourselves, “What do I want? And “How can I take better care of myself?” It has given me so much insight into my life and so much relief because I have stopped doing things that build resentment and stress.”

“Well, I would rather be comforted by food,” you say. Yes, I can understand. But that is temporary comfort. Permanent comfort comes from understanding what is going on in your life, knowing that your feelings are why you are eating, and facing your feelings. This is true freedom – an amazing transformation – that is available to you!

Another new client talked about trying to comfort herself with eating before she started using the tools from the program. She said, “When I was confronted by a major loss last week I knew that I would want to eat – and eat. So, instead of my usual food I binged on air popped popcorn mixed with a little microwave popcorn. The bowl that I used was HUGE (because the emotional hole that she was trying to fill was huge). I knew that I didn’t want to face the loss. So, I stuffed – ate and ate – I didn’t want to deal with it – didn’t want to understand. The small change that I made was the “safer” food. But then I knew that I was still eating out of avoidance – still not connecting. Later I stopped eating and asked, “What is going on here?” And, since you showed me how to connect, I was able to feel the feeling and not run from it. That gave me a peace that the food couldn’t give to me. THAT was huge!”

Are you ready to never diet again?

My call on Tuesday, May 18th at 12 noon EST may be the most important call you listen to.
Are you ready to help yourself – to experience what Oprah calls “the miracle,” and to have someone help you stop the self-hate – to see food as the vehicle, the way to the life that you most want?

If all you can think about is food, if you are constantly beating yourself up around food, trying to use food to comfort yourself and wondering how you can shift the way you think – so that you can be FREE from food – and lose the weight permanently – this FREE call is for you!

Even if you can’t be there for the call, register any way and we will send you the recording of the call – free!

Where Have All The Brownies Gone?

I was so incensed and out of control last night – my husband stole my brownies!

It made me realize once again that deprivation = insanity!

Confession time:

I told you that I don’t believe in deprivation. Well, I also don’t believe in sharing.

In my house I hide brownies. My “source” supplies brownies that are so rich that I cut them into 16 little pieces so that I can savor them whenever I want.

I hide them in the freezer.

Because I am a woman of my word!

I tell my clients:
- eat when “just” hungry – not “starved”
- eat food you LOVE,
(no low fat, sugar free garbage unless you LOVE it!)
- sit and savor food,
- until you are satisfied

I suggest that they have plenty of their favorite foods available to them so they don’t feel deprived.

I am not deprived – until last night!

I came out of my daughter’s room at her bedtime looking for Ginger the Cat.

And - looking forward to my snack.

There he was: my husband casually walking into the living room –

with MY BROWNIE in his grubby hand!
MY BROWNIE!

I went crazy!

The brownie was only ½” square (memorial service scheduled today) but I spotted it from the distance and lept at him.

“I can’t believe that you are eating my brownie!”

“Give it to me! David, really, it’s MY BROWNIE!”

I honestly felt panicked!

My daughter heard the noise and ran to her father’s aid.

“Here, eat the brownie Melia!”

He popped it into her mouth.

I went CRAZY!

“That is MY BROWNIE!” I heard myself yell.

“Great!” I screamed, “She’ll never get to sleep now!” (neither would I)

I was incensed - out of control.

This episode continued for over an hour – in my head anyway.

I brought Melia back to bed (after she danced – no lie – for 15 minutes – on her caffeine and sugar high).

I was never told where the rest of the brownie stash was (still don’t know as of this writing).

But I kept yelling (somewhat – but not entirely in jest) from her bedroom:

“BROWNIE STEALER!”

They both thought that this was hilarious. (I was still frustrated).

What happened?

1. I still don’t know where the d___ brownies are!

2. I was so agitated (true confession) that I ate some other chocolate, took a sleeping pill and went to bed.

3. I am over it (I am heading out as soon as I finish writing this for a new stash – and he won’t find them this time!)

4. I will make sure that he never runs out of Kit Kats again.

5. I didn’t threaten him with “never having marital relations again” (my daughter was in the room after all)

6. Just thinking about this still makes me CRAZY!


DEPRIVATION!

I am not exaggerating when I say that I was:

Panicked
Crazy
Insane
Irrational
“Starved”
Desperate

I could not believe my reaction. (That’s a lie – yes I could!)

So what happened? Aren’t I supposed to be the one in CONTROL?

After all, I am teaching self-love –
(but note: not love for family members who steal)

and losing weight through connection with your beliefs.

WHAT HAPPENED?

I was deprived.

“WHY DIETS DON’T WORK – PART I”

Results of a study of “normal” men – deprived of 50% of their calories:

(Less drastic than many diets)

THEY WENT CRAZY!

Angry
Depressed
Hoarding (sounds like me but give me a break!)
Stealing

BINGEING (big surprise)

The bingeing got worse when the study ended 6 months later.

“They were never the same again.”

(“Good,” one of my clients said “they became just like women.”)

What’s the point?

1. I still have some work to do if I was triggered like that.

Full disclosure:

My WWMM (Wild Wicked Mean Me) brain torments me with:

“How can you teach other women to lose weight when you were triggered?”

I don’t know – but I can. I’ll get back to you on that.



2. As soon as we feel deprived we go BEZERK!
More truth: it was the first time in ages I have felt deprived.
I still have some work to do.

3. You must allow yourself to eat ALL your favorite foods (counter intuitive I know, but I, and my clients do it every day).

4. Diets don’t work (more on this later)

And finally, forgive me for being human (I mean it – but it’s the only way I can be) and still be successful at “living like a normal person” when it comes to food. I can still easily maintain my weight.

Today
Forgive yourself.
Tell your WWMM brain (see above) to shut up.
Eat food you love.

Love yourself (I love you)

Getting Along with Yourself

Yesterday I was getting along VERY well with my 12 year old (not an every day occurrence) – I wondered why.

WHY?

I know why.

I chose to treat myself better (“I love myself”)

I chose to focus on the positive with my daughter

Which reminds me…Raising a “30-50 something” woman isn’t easy.

She needs love.
She needs lots of attention – YOUR attention.
She needs lots of kind, comforting words – YOUR words.

I am doing a better job “raising” me – LOVING ME.
So I can do a better job LOVING EVERYONE.

When I look for the best in me – I find it.
When I look for the best in others – I find it.

Everyone is happy.

Now, what could be simpler?
Do I hear you say, “but you don’t understand what is going on in my life!”
No, I don’t understand. But you do.
You have a choice – choose peace – with yourself.

When I was going through my divorce I didn’t like myself (one of many times) and I had a difficult time being compassionate towards others. I had a difficult time loving myself, accepting the situation, my (then husband’s) actions, the world. Then, during a counseling session our marriage counselor gave us a quote that I suspected was from AA – just by the language – but I never checked it until yesterday.

It is a quote about acceptance – which leads to peace.
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.

When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place,
thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.
AA Big Blue Book page 449 (3rd Edition)

You have a choice to accept what “is” because you can’t change it.
You can only change how you react - what you DO.
It is up to you.

Acceptance = peace.
Resistance = torturing yourself.

“What you resist persists”
What is your choice?
Choose peace. Choose acceptance of the NOW.
Love yourself!

Change Your Life - One Choice!

I realized today that “one choice” can change everything.

It causes a cascade of situations – experiences – to occur that affect my life either positively or negatively.

Last night it was very positive.

I needed help with my business (my life) – quickly!

I took action – called a woman in NYC.

That led me to an answer – hire a great VA (virtual assistant) she employed.

There are no accidents.

So – I TOOK ACTION!

And now I have a FABULOUS VA and friend.

It happened all because I was willing to step out – to try something new.

Is this the day to make a TINY change – to take a step that will cause a cascade of events?

Some Ideas:
Eat a TINY bit less (notice how you feel)
CHOOSE positive words to yourself (“You are doing a great!”)
BREATH – be in the NOW (“I feel better”)
LOOK at nature – in silence – 5 minutes (yes, turn off your phone!)

Each choice creates your life.

What choices led you to this moment? Are you happy right now?

If not, why not?

Why are you choosing to not be happy in the moment?

NOW is the ONLY time that you have to be happy.

You can’t be happy in the past.
You can’t be happy in the future.
You can only be (happy, peaceful, joy-filled) NOW.

Today’s choices make tomorrow’s future.
STOP thinking about tomorrow.
Focus on today. You can plan for tomorrow.
But LIVE today – this moment.
It is all you have.

LOVE yourself.