In Jim Collins book, “Good to Great” says the “fox knows many things but the Hedgehog knows one thing: eliminate unnecessary suffering.”
Today I am going to help you eliminate unnecessary suffering so that you can have all the success, abundance and peace that you deserve.
Suffering is fighting against what is and what you want to be. Eckhart Tolle says that by being in the present moment can help eliminate suffering.
But the good news is that you are
Exactly where you need to be on your path right now! All the suffering and challenges you have prepared you for the journey you are on now, for the joy that you can experience right now, in this moment and in many moments to come.
Stay Calm
No matter what the other person does, come from a place of peace.
Story
This, I am finding, is especially important if you have teenagers.
The more excited, irritated and high strung they get, the calmer you need to be.
This past summer my daughter went away to camp. At 13 that means shopping for new clothes, the right sneakers and even socks. She saved her money, bought what she needed – an investment, and away she went. She was very excited to go and had a wonderful time. That is, until she returned from camp, hormones and all. She wasn’t in the house 5 minutes before the front door flew open. As I came up the walk I saw clothes flying.
“They’re RUINED!” she shouted.
I was in a calm place – took the clothes and told her that they would be OK.
Thought, “How would the best Mom possible handle this?”
Texted her that the swimsuit was 100% OK and the shorts were getting there. She texted back, “OK.”
When you come from a place of stress you have 2% of your problem solving capacity available to you.
2%!
So, how do we achieve a place of calm?
- DECIDE that you are Calm
Say, “I choose to be calm, to be in the moment.”
- Walk Away
Take a time out – like I did this morning when my hormonal daughter was out of control.
- Close Your Eyes/Meditate
I will meditate when I am at a stop light, getting my hair cut, nails done, etc.
- Be in the Moment
Mindfulness reduces stress, overeating, anxiety, depression, improves
Health, increases joy and peace of mind.
- Go Outside
Nature has a way of calming and enlivening us. Take a break when you can.
Benefits: reduced stress, increased peace.
- The best question for a calm mind – “Is that true?” (Back to Reality)
Example: “My daughter is an out of control teenager!”
Ask, “Is it true?”
Answer, “No”
How do you FEEL when you believe that thought?
DROP the thought that doesn’t serve you.
- Your mind is like a garden – plant CALM thoughts
- Alter your thoughts and you will alter your circumstances
- You want calm, your body wants calm, your spirit, the authentic you functions best on calm.
- You influence those around you with your being – which comes from your thoughts.
- Calm, productive thoughts = calm mind = great results
- Your mind will grow weeds unless you plant thoughts that are positive and serve you well.
- To Maintain Your Focus, Your Calm, Ask Questions:
- What can I do to make this easier, more loving on myself?
- Breathe
Years ago, I learned the "Four Square" method of breathing to reduce anxiety:
1. Breathe in slowly to a count of four.
2. Hold the breath for a count of four.
3. Exhale slowly through pursed lips to a count of four.
4. Rest for a count of four (without taking any breaths).
5. Take two normal breaths.
6
Question your thoughts to allow change.
In my courses I teach about meditation which allows us to be more calm, focused and present.
Ask yourself when you have a thought that is giving you pain, “is that true?”
Repeat over and over again, “I am calm”
When you are stressed you are fighting – there is a struggle between where you want to be and where you are.
Notice the thought and decide where you want to be.
Choose your emotion – how you want to be.
If you want to be happy, you must think happy thoughts.
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